wheee :)

Here's what I have to be thankful for.

• I've got a family that loves and supports me, and whom I love and support in return. Lots of people who were born into their families can't say that, so I guess I'm at an advantage when it comes down to it: my loving birth mother handpicked the best available parents. That's beautiful.


• I've got some aptitude for music. This means that I am competent at performing something that is rewarding and happy-making to me in both the immediate and long terms.


• I also have some taste in music. Yes, I'm a closet music snob of a benign sort. I believe that one Radiohead album is worth a million 3 Doors Down albums, but I recognise good craftsmanship when I see it--even if its product isn't to my taste.


• I'm good at writing. I understand that I'm more skillful at it than many. This makes me happy: well-crafted prose evokes beautiful emotions in its appreciative readers, promotes understanding of its subject among those who might not have understood it otherwise, and enables its craftsman to express his own perspective well. The fact that I can accomplish all this means that I have the potential to affect others' lives for the better with the product of an act that I enjoy performing.


• My parents cared enough about their kids' intellectual life that they had me reading by a year and a half of age. My mom's reading in bed with me and my dad's holding me on his lap between his chest and his guitar were probably the two things that shaped early Rick most strongly. I now have the ability to take pleasure in reading. I feel for those who do not, and I suspect that they're more numerous than I realize. But I do, and that's important.


• I'm comfy. I have lots of luxuries, not the least of which is the ability to focus mainly on studies rather than juggling a lot of other stuff, such as working full time at a job I hate in order to put myself through school and pay the electricity bill. Yes, I'm a privileged suburban white boy, and some would consider me spoiled, but I think I make relatively good use of my advantages as opposed to pissing them away in the Gap and in the bottoms of an endless procession of bottles. Not to disparage Gap shoppers or drinkers; I'm just glad I'm neither a fashion victim nor a drunk.


• As if my family wasn't enough, there are more people that love me voluntarily. I have faith that certain people would not flinch--would, indeed, hug me and smile with me--if I told them my seriously darkest secrets. Granted, my secrets aren't that dark. But I'm sure everyone has some things that they fear that, if leaked, would ruin them. I feel that as long as I have these certain people in my life, I won't be ruined completely. My friends make me feel warm and/or giddy nearly all the time. Thank you, thank you, thank you. So much.


• I have a hilarious, sarcastic, tasteful, intelligent, talented, introspective, warm, cuddly, beautiful human being coming to visit me, at considerable chronological and monetary cost to herself, in roughly 120 hours. I can't wait. She rules, and I'm glad to have her around, even if it is simply in spirit most often. That someone like this cares enough to drive that far to spend the weekend with me just makes me grin like an idiot.


• As harsh as I am on myself, as confused, cynical, and otherwise angst-ridden and screwed-up I may be, I feel that I'm roughly levelheaded. Maybe too much so at times, but at least I don't have to worry about scrambling to put my feet under me like some people do. I'm nothing if not a planner.


• The Beta Band is in my headphones right now. I know what CD I'm gonna buy next.


• Kate says I'm "entertaining as fuck." Toni says I'm coooooo. I think that means my efforts to be good to other people are working. I'm proud of that.


• I grew up in a tradition that encourages critical thought and consideration. This has benefitted me in many practical ways, and has helped me, in retrospect, to appreciate the value of thoughtful behavior.

There's more. The above is just what I can quantify at first thought. I'll add to this list as it occurs to me to do so.

Thanks to everyone who affects me. You truly mean a lot.